It’s Okay To Be You

People have a tendency to makes us feel even more worse than we were before when we become ourselves.

A flower bud sprouted excitedly above the ground to become a glorious beautiful bloom. It didn’t notice the dying flowers around it that once were glorious and beautiful. The flower bud missed the time when everyone were blooming or perhaps it’s the first to inspire the rest to bloom again. Hiking at Montara State Beach.

Instead of empathic words and actions, we get indifference and super insensitive annoying comments that only makes us feel bad, more alone and angry. And this comes from all, Strangers, Acquaintance, Co-Workers, Work Managers, trusted Friends and Family. Why? Is it that difficult to feel something and relate? What happened to Love? What happened to, “We only wish for your Happiness?” What happened to being Human capable of caring and kindness? Is it really that rare nowadays? I still want to believe it’s not.

Be kind to yourself because you will go through many challenges and obstacles that requires all of your heart, strength, happy memories, patience and soul.
Be well. Be yourself. Be happy. That simple.

It’s no wonder People going through anxiety, depression, post trauma from Stress caused by other People have to seek Professional Help to be listened too and understood. And those who don’t, just close themselves from the World or end their World.

Be seen, be visible, be an inspiration starting to yourself, then the next person next to you. Soon the World is again hopeful and colorful because of you.

So many People but only a special few we can count with our fingers that we can trust to keep our secrets. Even less when it’s sharing the burdens and weight we carry through the years. When it comes to our Mental and Emotional struggles, Family and Friends can easily become Strangers because they can’t believe what we go though are real Demons and Nightmares. They can not accept and handle that their perfect love one is broken and imperfect. They can’t believe someone who has been their pillar and help is asking help and understanding.

Have you opened up to your Parents, Siblings or closest Friends and up front said, “I don’t believe you?” Has a Family you trust told you, “I don’t want to hear your problem,” just when you needed them the most? How about a Work Manager telling you, “You are Paranoid,” when you expose the truth everyone else have seen and experienced?” Being Alone just went to another level of excruciating loneliness, isolation, frustration and numbing desperation. But in time, one learns to live with it so well that People only see a Person who appears to have everything perfectly all together. Strong, confident, successful, invincible, happy.

Great acting comes from constant exposure and practice. Great actors hide their secrets flawlessly. Great performance makes the audience believe whatever the Performer wants them to believe. Almost like deception, but really it’s just a way to protect oneself from more harm and pain.

We actually have to pay for someone to give us time and understanding. We actually have to pay for advice that true Friends, Family and our Work Managers are suppose to do or could have done…genuinely.

No wonder people feel very alone, messed up, angry, withdrawn and distrustful more than ever. Frustration is overrated. Anger has turned to Passive Aggressive routine. Suck it up is the new norm. Deal with it yourself is the new empowerment and being independent.

No one told me that it’s possible that Father and Son can become Friends that easily opens up to one another both their woes and dreams. No one told me, my son could be my Buddy in my adventures. I grew up in a different generation with a different cultural mindset and practices. My Son is teaching me without trying that I have a choice to follow a different path of Parenting and Living that is me. That I don’t have to conform if it does not feel right. That trying to pursue my happiness is okay and not something to feel guilty of.

Survive for yourself. Fight for yourself. Be okay for yourself. Advocate for yourself.

A Friend started opening up about her personal experience on Anxiety, Depression, Traumatic Stress. I listened intently. I didn’t even have to give advice or recommendations because she found a way to deal with her internal battles on her own way. My silence listening to her, and likely my facial expression, “I so get what you are saying and I’m here, go on,” made her see and feel sincere empathy and understanding.

When my Friend was finished, she asked me how I was. That was my sign to share something I can’t comfortably and safely tell other people. Since then, we become each other support and therapist when needed. We became true Friends willing to listen and save each other when needed. I was lucky, and yes did not have to pay a therapist.

How many really are willing to see every detail of you? How many are ready to experience all of you? For many it may be terrifying so they talk and act safely, defensively, superficially with you. Just the standard Society deemed enough when you wanted and needed something deeper and more meaningful. Some are built to be there only during the good times. Some are built to run away or close their doors during the bad times. Who’s left to be with you? They are your true Family and Friends.

I brave up to be myself. I was okay to be myself, and one person saw themselves through me. It was worth it because I believe I’m worth it and people alone in their battles are worth reaching, helping, empathizing, listening with full acceptance and kindness.

Selfishness is having everything revolve around our convenience and favor. It’s feeling entitled that our lives and work should be easier and better than others. Clearly it’s focused only on “me” and “I.” Beyond to include “others” is unimportant and unimaginable. Selfishness can be anyone. It doesn’t choose nor make exemptions.

We have eyes that refuses to see the truth, reality and suffering. We have ears that automatically closes when we hear anything that is uncomfortable and does not concern us. Self care versus Selfish. They are very different like night and day.

Don’t we have Hearts that are suppose to care and give a damn?

“So go on, I’m listening. Don’t hold back. It’s okay to be you.”

About Island Traveler

Just a Man too curious where his dreams will take him.
This entry was posted in Life and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

99 Responses to It’s Okay To Be You

  1. Very compassionate and heartfelt words. I was particularly moved by your friend opening up about her anxiety and depression and you being there for her. Thank you for sharing such personal moments 😥🙂👍

    Like

    • Thanks Paul. Sometimes at the time when we feel very alone, God send us a Friend to truly listen and relate. Mental Health is hard not just in coping but in acceptance and understanding from people especially those we consider family. Anxiety and depression is universal for all and when we meet someone who went through it, Right away we connect.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Pingback: It’s Okay To Be You – Fasting & Lifestyle Blog

  3. Shyamini says:

    I am me.
    Just me.
    Wholly me.

    Like

  4. Reblogged this on How I found My Muchness and commented:
    “I brave up to be myself. I was okay to be myself, and one person saw themselves through me. It was worth it because I believe I’m worth it and people alone in their battles are worth reaching, helping, empathizing, listening with full acceptance and kindness.”… 🙏🏻🙏🏻💎🙏🏻🙏🏻

    Like

  5. Such beautiful pictures & such deep advice & thoughts! 🙂
    As you say…there is a tendency to not be able to truly empathize. Also, you make a valid point about the difference between self-care & being selfish.
    Thx for posting!

    Like

    • Thanks. Some days we needed to be reminded our being is still important, that not compromising who we are is worth it. It’s easy to change for the world and others people but harder to go back to who we were when life and happiness were simpler, easier. Indeed like is complicated but we don’t have to drown in its complexity.

      Like

  6. Pingback: It’s Okay To Be You – Cosmopolitan

  7. makeitupnow3 says:

    Such beautiful photos (and sentiments)!

    Like

  8. geisha961 says:

    This is so genuine and heartfelt! It’s only recently that I myself realised that it was a “need” to express myself, to let others know that I am not the confident, put-together, perfect person that they see. Infact, I am one of the most sensitive, and easily depressed. There are many who ask me, ‘dont you feel anything?’ Or ‘how can you always be so calm?’ All this while, there would probably be a storm going inside me.
    So yeah, this means a lot!

    Like

    • Thank you for being open and sharing the storm within you. Exactly as you wrote, people only see our exterior, when we are going through the opposite inside. People want us to be authentic when in reality, they just want us to act and behave that is comfortable for them. We are good if we are convenient and beneficial to other people. I’m glad you are speaking out and expressing yourself. We have too because there will come a time , rising and fighting back to save self may be too late.

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  9. Well composed. All photographs are excellent and complementing the written composition very well 👏

    Like

    • Thank you. I needed that day to find myself and heal myself. The hike was all I need, and my Son made sure I stay on course. There are times I see myself so clearly in the nature I see, almost like a mirroring of what I feel and going through.

      Like

  10. Really love the pictures. So beautiful. And yes we should be more of a support to each other.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thanks . Pictures lift our spirits and inspire us that tomorrow, something beautiful will happen in our lives. So much hate, anger and misery in our World from work place, home to our country and beyond. It is nice to see something good and hopeful for a change.

      Liked by 1 person

  11. Great post !!!!
    Very inspiring
    Thank you

    Liked by 2 people

  12. somtooti says:

    Great

    Liked by 2 people

  13. Such deep words. So true. And the images as always are amazing. I hope I can become friends with my son. Since he turned 7, we have been at each other’s throats. It’s so sad. But I don’t want to bring my negativity over to your blog. Your words were very reassuring and validating.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you for the kind feedback and generous share. My Son during his late school age phase was a bit aloof, then it change during teenager when I think he is looking for a male figure from staying fit to hobbies to outdoor adventures. Before I was jealous he was closer to his mom, but now, I think we are on equal footing for his attention. Don’t know what happens when he discovers young love one day . Parenting is both hard and easy, crazy and super nice, but One thing for sure, we will miss it when it’s over and they become adults with minds and choices of their own. Take care my friend. Regards to your family.

      Like

  14. Pingback: It’s Okay To Be You – MobsterTiger

  15. Anita says:

    So sorry that you are strugling. Thank you for sharing great photos and poem.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Every day is a struggle. Everyday is a chance to win our battles. I once thought inner peace is possible but now I realized it is only for fleeting moments. Life is really a war of the good we hope to experience and the bad that is an outcome of wrong decisions and people’s actions. The good news, struggles make us stronger for the next challenge of life and it make us appreciate small and big blessings. Thank you. I appreciate the kindness.

      Like

  16. I could say a lot to your honest post, but I will just leave it with that for today, ” I understand you my longtime blogging friend”.

    Liked by 4 people

  17. Beautiful photos to go along with a great insight. Thoughts we all often think, but rarely express. 🌷🌿

    Liked by 4 people

    • Thanks. It nice to set free what we hold back or not allowed to speak out loud around people because we worry too much of what others will say or react. Blog space, is real space to by authentic. It’s a great escape.

      Liked by 2 people

  18. Pingback: It’s Okay To Be You – Nelsapy

  19. Beautiful post. Life can be full of ups and downs. It could be difficult to balance it all but we all have to find a way.

    Life is not about us alone. It’s okay to be you but be sensitive to others too. We should care about each other. Together, we make the world a better place.

    Liked by 6 people

  20. Pingback: It’s Okay To Be You – Favvylee.com

  21. yes, I have always been quite the handful but I own it

    Liked by 4 people

  22. ourcrossings says:

    We often hide our inner thoughts and feelings because we are concerned if they’d be accepted by other people. But we also shut out other people from knowing and accepting us by not being open.
    We know it feels good to share it with others. It’s really a nice feeling to get things off your chest, to get them out in the open. It feels good to talk to a friend about the things we’re concerned about. It’s good to be able to trust somebody ☺️ thanks for sharing yet another thoughtful post 🤗 I hope all is well 💖😊 Aiva

    Liked by 4 people

  23. This is such a powerful message, thank you 🙏🏼 💜💙🧡♥️

    Liked by 3 people

  24. Rabbia says:

    Its totally ok to be you 😍👌🏻
    Well written ❤️

    Liked by 2 people

  25. Ahmed Ali says:

    Beautiful

    Liked by 3 people

  26. markbierman says:

    As someone who’s battled PTSD, I can relate to the feelings of loneliness and being misunderstood, and I appreciate the courage it took you to open up on this blog. There’s hope and I’m listening to you. I wish you peace.

    Liked by 4 people

    • Thanks Mark. We find our support wherever we can find them. Mental and emotional struggles are the hardest to heal and fix because many are not comfortable to be open and understand. It’s still a sensitive matter and many are not ready to face them.

      Liked by 2 people

  27. nice shots 🙂 having someone to spill sentiments to and listens without judgement is indeed priceless.

    p.s can you follow me back for academic purposes. thank you 🙂

    Liked by 4 people

  28. Silent Singer says:

    Lovely poem and photos- especially the purple heather!

    Liked by 3 people

  29. Jo says:

    I’m glad you have people in your life that you can open up to and/or vent. That’s priceless.
    But often even with supportive friends and family we may need professional help in figuring certain things out in our lives.

    Your pictures, as always, are breathtaking.

    Liked by 4 people

  30. Ab says:

    I’m very sorry that you are struggling. You correctly noted that as we get older, it becomes more apparent who your real friends and family are. It’s both a disappointing but also freeing realization.

    I’m glad that you found a friend that you can lean on to share your true feelings and your true self with. That is a real gift. Being able to be you and to get your feelings out is healthy and very needed. Glad to hear you have that outlet!

    Liked by 5 people

    • Thanks Ab. To struggle means we care still to keep fighting and trying for ourselves and those we love. That giving up is not an option just because it’s easier. When I’m at work, I hear many talk about how they want to retire in 5 years, rest and finally do what they want. And I can so relate to their whys even if they don’t say it. Many don’t want to talk their whys but I understood their whys more than they’ll ever know. When it comes to life and living, we really are just riding one boat that tries to stay afloat and find its many destinations and purpose.

      Liked by 2 people

  31. Having that one friend who openly shares and equally listens is truly priceless! You always post beautiful photos of the landscape around you, which brings a sense of calm as I reflect on your words. 💕😎

    Liked by 5 people

    • Nature and Outdoors are my escape from the World and everything that’s dark and unkind. And the images I capture somehow mirrors what my mind and heart are going through during those moments of escape. Writing them is to set myself free and for healing to complete its process. Thank you. 🙏

      Liked by 3 people

  32. Love your take… your searching beyond the facade of life for the kernels of truth. Keep going 💚

    Liked by 5 people

  33. You really know who your true friends are during the tough times. Glad to hear that you were able to connect with a friend and share your vulnerabilities with. Sometimes people just need to talk, and being a great listener is always a great skill to have and work on.

    Liked by 7 people

    • Thank you. It’s was one of those I never expected moments. And Friendship is truly a surprising gift and miracle. Just when I thought I have none, God sends me one to remind me I’m not alone and he sees me. It was nice. It was comforting. It makes work days bearable, even fun.

      Liked by 3 people

  34. Very beautiful! Keep writing and inspiring
    Would you like to check out my posts.. please

    HUGSxx

    Liked by 4 people

  35. elvira797mx says:

    Wow! It is an amazing post, invites to reflection, to be empathic. To be better human beings.
    Thank’s for share it.
    Keep well.
    Elvira

    Liked by 7 people

  36. It’s funny, but so spot-on that we need to be reminded that “it’s okay to be ourselves.” When you find that friend who reminds us of that … it’s an amazing thing. As you point out, it’s something to be cherished.

    Liked by 7 people

    • Thanks Brian. I even needed the post for myself. Everyday is a different tune varying in intensity and Melodies. Last night was crescendo deafening for me at work. It was crazy. After work, I took a huge sigh of relief. I said to myself, “Okay time to be yourself now and be pampered.” So, I ate my fav food and watch my fav Netflix series while venting to my wife of what happened. Instant comfort and feel good. Instant mental therapy. People and our work World will always try to test us how far we can go and last, but we also forget we can balance them all with ourselves still being part of the chain of importance. And yes, we should never have to carry the weight alone.

      Liked by 4 people

  37. So beautiful flowers of spring season ‘s nature photos and inspiring lines lovely and true 🌷🙏♥️🌷Grace wishes 👏

    Liked by 5 people

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