People have a tendency to makes us feel even more worse than we were before when we become ourselves.
Instead of empathic words and actions, we get indifference and super insensitive annoying comments that only makes us feel bad, more alone and angry. And this comes from all, Strangers, Acquaintance, Co-Workers, Work Managers, trusted Friends and Family. Why? Is it that difficult to feel something and relate? What happened to Love? What happened to, “We only wish for your Happiness?” What happened to being Human capable of caring and kindness? Is it really that rare nowadays? I still want to believe it’s not.
It’s no wonder People going through anxiety, depression, post trauma from Stress caused by other People have to seek Professional Help to be listened too and understood. And those who don’t, just close themselves from the World or end their World.
So many People but only a special few we can count with our fingers that we can trust to keep our secrets. Even less when it’s sharing the burdens and weight we carry through the years. When it comes to our Mental and Emotional struggles, Family and Friends can easily become Strangers because they can’t believe what we go though are real Demons and Nightmares. They can not accept and handle that their perfect love one is broken and imperfect. They can’t believe someone who has been their pillar and help is asking help and understanding.
Have you opened up to your Parents, Siblings or closest Friends and up front said, “I don’t believe you?” Has a Family you trust told you, “I don’t want to hear your problem,” just when you needed them the most? How about a Work Manager telling you, “You are Paranoid,” when you expose the truth everyone else have seen and experienced?” Being Alone just went to another level of excruciating loneliness, isolation, frustration and numbing desperation. But in time, one learns to live with it so well that People only see a Person who appears to have everything perfectly all together. Strong, confident, successful, invincible, happy.
Great acting comes from constant exposure and practice. Great actors hide their secrets flawlessly. Great performance makes the audience believe whatever the Performer wants them to believe. Almost like deception, but really it’s just a way to protect oneself from more harm and pain.
We actually have to pay for someone to give us time and understanding. We actually have to pay for advice that true Friends, Family and our Work Managers are suppose to do or could have done…genuinely.
No wonder people feel very alone, messed up, angry, withdrawn and distrustful more than ever. Frustration is overrated. Anger has turned to Passive Aggressive routine. Suck it up is the new norm. Deal with it yourself is the new empowerment and being independent.
Survive for yourself. Fight for yourself. Be okay for yourself. Advocate for yourself.
A Friend started opening up about her personal experience on Anxiety, Depression, Traumatic Stress. I listened intently. I didn’t even have to give advice or recommendations because she found a way to deal with her internal battles on her own way. My silence listening to her, and likely my facial expression, “I so get what you are saying and I’m here, go on,” made her see and feel sincere empathy and understanding.
When my Friend was finished, she asked me how I was. That was my sign to share something I can’t comfortably and safely tell other people. Since then, we become each other support and therapist when needed. We became true Friends willing to listen and save each other when needed. I was lucky, and yes did not have to pay a therapist.
How many really are willing to see every detail of you? How many are ready to experience all of you? For many it may be terrifying so they talk and act safely, defensively, superficially with you. Just the standard Society deemed enough when you wanted and needed something deeper and more meaningful. Some are built to be there only during the good times. Some are built to run away or close their doors during the bad times. Who’s left to be with you? They are your true Family and Friends.
I brave up to be myself. I was okay to be myself, and one person saw themselves through me. It was worth it because I believe I’m worth it and people alone in their battles are worth reaching, helping, empathizing, listening with full acceptance and kindness.
We have eyes that refuses to see the truth, reality and suffering. We have ears that automatically closes when we hear anything that is uncomfortable and does not concern us. Self care versus Selfish. They are very different like night and day.
Don’t we have Hearts that are suppose to care and give a damn?
“So go on, I’m listening. Don’t hold back. It’s okay to be you.”