What I see people have no idea exist even if we are looking at the same visual frame.

What I feel, no one can ever truly understand or will be brave enough to experience.

“I can’t believe them myself, but they are real. I don’t think my vivid imagination just made me see what I wanted to see. The pictures and videos are proof to myself that I was there.”

“We are a beautiful, important mystery worth the time and rediscovery. So, we take a day off for our Mental Health if we need it. We take a Sick Time Off, if our Heart needs to heal and mend its pieces. Mind and Heart controls our Physical Being. When both are sick and wounded, the Physical part suffers affecting all that is connected to it like work, activities of daily living and relationships. When mind and heart are in a Battle, isn’t it that the World around us transforms into a Battlefield and our anger turns people into enemies?”

Sometimes, when I walk or drive to work, I look at the trees and they reach out to me. They would dance and sing in joy for me.

The colors of their leaves changing in beautiful shades, hues and brilliance like blinking lights on a Christmas Tree.

Sometimes I look at the Sky, and it’s just gloriously blue, and the clouds, I can touch with my bare hands effortless.

Sometimes my heart feels too much that I don’t know how to contain it. The emotions so intense that it feels like it is going to explode.

Other times, I am in a very lonely dark place. Unable to find reasons why I am cursed to break, be in pain, isolated, ostracized, tormented with sadness.

Sometimes they call me sensitive. It’s an inappropriate mean judgement from those whose comfort and happiness I try to care more than my own.

“When people get used to us helping them all the time, when making their day better becomes a habit and their needs comes first than our own, whether among Family, Friends and Co-Workers, they assume it’s our responsibility. We become that bad person the moment we refuse. We are called Selfish when we try to take care of ourselves. Most will only think of their happiness first, and ours last. This tower of stones just exemplifies that. We have to first carry everyone else, but in time, sustainability by one for all becomes an impossibility. The tower will collapse and crush everyone when the rest above us don’t do their part in giving and sharing the load.”

Sometimes I am silently drowning, and people continues to push and pull me down from both directions drowning me deeper.

Sometimes I’m so happy that every nerve endings in my body are electrified, awakened, wired perfectly and connected to everything within and around me.

These are my borrowed times where I am most alive. It’s fleeting. It’s a constant work in progress. No start. No finish. I don’t own them. I never did.

What I want, what I dream, what I value as important, some relate but many find it too in the present moment. Is it negative when I perceive every next year as uncertain and too far? Is it wrong to base how I live in the now? Is it selfish?

Is it wasteful to turn my “Soon Bucket Lists” into reality? Is it odd to have frequent Mental Health Day and Vacation Time for myself?

Is it that difficult to comprehend that more quality time with Family, and with myself matters more to me than work?

Why do I have to enslave myself working so hard just because others did it? I’m not them. They’re not me. We are all unique, special and different. My priorities are different, everyone’s priorities are different.

There is always time for work and a time for relaxation and enjoyment.

“The Sunsets will not wait for us. Time will continue and will not slow down just because we’re not ready. Time doesn’t bend for anyone. It doesn’t show mercy. Its unforgiving. Time is constantly moving. To catch up, it’s up to us to run faster.”

We have choices. We have options. We have opportunities. Our lives can be better.

“When I pass through the Golden Gate Bridge, I am reminded to never give up on my dreams and that they are possible. I don’t need much convincing because many of my dreams though unbelievable has already happened. However, not all of my dreams ends happily. I need to be more careful of what I wish for.”

Balance is everything. Sustainability is a very thin line between being healthy and unhealthy, of being in a state of Life and Death while still living.

Our lives are meant to feel and be more.

What I see, what I feel is who I am. I’m not compromising anymore to please and be nice. I don’t have to suck up and kiss ass to a dysfunctional, messed up system to prove my worth. I know my worth. I know what I can give. I know what I can offer and contribute to make the lives of others better.

“People taught and forced me to be a Bitch. When we fight for ourselves, people will call us with so many names. Never take it personally, they are not worth the worry nor losing ourselves. We can’t change all, we can only change how we react and how we move passed them. The B word is neutral gender. Anyone can own it. Anyone can be it when needed. It’s Bitches versus Bullies in the Real World.”

Things will change. I’m taking control of my life back. It will take a lot serious hard work and many will not like me for saying “No,” and for being an assertive advocate for myself. But I am not changing for them, I am changing for me.

“Love yourself again and try rediscovering what used to make you happy. We don’t have much time to waste waiting. Isn’t this the tragic lesson of the ongoing Global Pandemic?

Happiness is never forever, and so is Life. So, why not try our own Happy by the minute, hours and day by day for as long as we are blessed to enjoy the gift of Life.

I declare today Global Mental and Emotional Health Anytime Month.

It’s for everyone. It’s unlimited. No rules. No Expiration Date. No catch. Use it whenever your Mind and Heart needs it. Everyone’s welcome.

Blogger Friends, sorry for the delayed response and visits. I promise to catch up after my long self declared Self Care Holiday.