To capture Alive, I leaned my chest towards the end of a massive boulder. What was I thinking? Inch even closer.
Wasn’t Alive enough, so I moved a few more inches just a shy away from plunging into the deep blues beneath.
Still not content. I went around the cliff, left hand and arm hugging tightly the rough rock surface, right hand holding the iPhone Camera, feet shaking.
I looked down, some rock debris fell into the ravine.
This time I captured Alive and thank God, no scratches, all limbs intact.
I was happy. I was satisfied.
The things I do to capture Alive? Anything.
The things I do to feel happy? Tango with danger but I’ll dance them anyway.
Through the years, I have lost slowly what used to make me feel Alive. So, I experimented on what will, and so far, these are it. It may not make sense to others but it is so crystal to me.
I am aware of the potential danger but the determination of experiencing Alive, to taste sweet Happiness even just in moments outweighs the risks.
People don’t get it, but I don’t have to explain something that is personal and traumatic. They won’t get it anyway. Just more judgement and topic to gossip.
Besides, I’m not doing all these to impress anyone. I am doing them to impress me.
When I follow my heart and it’s dreams, why is it hard for people to accept? Why is it too much to handle?
The universe has no answer for me, even in its vastness, but it’s the same hope like everyone else’s. Perhaps the universe is just as cowardly and afraid to do something.
Self love is not selfish. It’s kindness to self. But people will always make us feel bad for it. Who is selfish now?
We are raised to keep giving. Our Parents, siblings, respected Elderlies said it first, did it first again and again.
Then came Society indoctrinating us to believe caring for self is wrong and enslaving for others is right.
People brag about freedom when someone else holds theirs.
We are never free when we are obligated to do things we don’t like or forced to follow things that bothers our conscience or clash with our moral principles and values.
When it comes to our own truth, we could be alone in our struggles, loneliness and challenges even if we are in the middle of a crowded room full of laughter.
Back to being close to danger to capture Alive, its nothing compared to the many dangers I faced every time I chose my own dreams over others.
I have swam with sharks, escaped packs of wolves, got bitten and chewed mercilessly, repeatedly. Though I should have died internally many times, miraculously I survived them all. So far…
I don’t know how. I don’t know why. Again, not my time. Not my chapter of creation to end.
I always believe, “If it’s my time, then it’s my time.” It doesn’t matter what I’m doing or where I am.
I could be driving the safest speed limit excited to reach my destination, then head on collision with a truck.
Sudden unexpected rerouting to 3 possible destinations: Heaven, Hell or Purgatory. Hmm, doesn’t sound exciting now.
Instant or slow, death will happen. Rich or Poor, Young or Old, Famous or Unknown, Politicians or Ordinary Folks, death will come for all of us when we least expect it.
Like a thief 24/7, death will sneak in no matter how much anti-theft devices we have in place. It’s non-negotiable. It’s non-bribable. It’s certain no matter how special we thing we are.
Co-workers question why I ask for vacation request often. My answer, “Life is very short. I don’t know what will happen to me next year so I will try to do the things that makes me happy with my Family the soonest.”
Again, is it really selfish to do that? Is it wrong to feel Alive?
Events, People and how the World works are odd and strange.
What’s unlucky to one, is a blessing to another. What is wasteful to one, is living their best life to another.
Time is subjective. Adventure is perceptive. Happiness is an option by choice. Only natural when we were innocent children, oblivious to the outside World and what people are capable of.
We travel for what? For fun? For experience? For Instagram likes? Or really, to feel Alive or at least, feel something?
Many have been dead long time ago, they just didn’t know it. Those that are aware of their death-like state of living will attempt to drag others to their miserable graves.
So why keep living like that? Aren’t we suppose to inherit the Earth and enjoy God’s creations? So, why aren’t we? Why can’t we be good to one another?
We break the chains made by Man and embrace the blessed life, Alive created by God for each one of us.
We are meant for Greatness. So, let us claim them.
God never wanted us to be unhappy. He never dreamed for us to keep living the vicious cycle of lifelessness, abuse, lies, discrimination, bondage, injustice and suffering.
We are more if we choose to be more. We are less if we allow ourselves to be less.
So, we stop being dead and start focusing on capturing and staying Alive.
Even John Travolta knew that and danced it so well.
Stay Alive as genuine, true and beautiful as you are. No compromises.