Did my long city walk today after months of unhealthy sedentary lifestyle. Same walk, very different city.
The fear is gone only to be replaced with something else…loss.
Some permanently, others temporarily. Either way, victims continue to struggle for survival more than a year after.
People continue to spread the pandemic whether unknowingly, intentionally or helplessly. Vulnerable population don’t have a choice. They don’t have the same privilege and help that others do. They’d been on their own from shutdowns to reopenings. Some of them have died yet many choose not to care. Some would rather believe a false truth because it’s comfortable than have an annoying worrisome conscience.
Safety and consideration for others are out. Enjoyment and fun without accountability are in. Justice and equality, too hard, too scary, too selfless. Conforming and silence, easier, less distressing, non-disturbing.
Doors chained and locked painfully. Hearts chained and locked tragically.
Hope so we can live and make sense of the present. Realness so we can create a future that is authentic transcending superficiality, politics and capitalism.
Same eyes, different vision. Same ears, different music. Same heart, different feeling. Only constants are the relief of change and the power of positive perception.
On my next walk, will normalcy return or more difference and indifference? On my next walk, will there be signs of caring or more detachment and coldness?
I love my city. It gave me a home when no one did. It gave me freedom when I felt trapped, imprisoned, silently screaming. It gave me adventure when others taught my dreams were impossible and won’t take flight anywhere.
So I promise to stay and give back to this city. I promise that my community will see and experience something good, humane, prosperous, happy.
I can’t control how others think and act but I can control my thoughts and actions. Maybe it’s enough, maybe it’s not. Regardless if change happens, I will try harder to change because my city and it’s people are worth changing, fighting, surviving, caring, sacrificing.
I will not make excuses. I will not turn the other way. I will be more because being better didn’t work.
“It’s okay to feel and be vulnerable. It’s okay to not feel sometimes so it does not hurt as much. It’s not okay however to not care at all when we’ve seen people’s suffering. Caring is having a soul that connect us with the divine.”