Did my long city walk today after months of unhealthy sedentary lifestyle. Same walk, very different city.
The fear is gone only to be replaced with something else…loss.
Some permanently, others temporarily. Either way, victims continue to struggle for survival more than a year after.
People continue to spread the pandemic whether unknowingly, intentionally or helplessly. Vulnerable population don’t have a choice. They don’t have the same privilege and help that others do. They’d been on their own from shutdowns to reopenings. Some of them have died yet many choose not to care. Some would rather believe a false truth because it’s comfortable than have an annoying worrisome conscience.
Safety and consideration for others are out. Enjoyment and fun without accountability are in. Justice and equality, too hard, too scary, too selfless. Conforming and silence, easier, less distressing, non-disturbing.
Doors chained and locked painfully. Hearts chained and locked tragically.
Hope so we can live and make sense of the present. Realness so we can create a future that is authentic transcending superficiality, politics and capitalism.
Same eyes, different vision. Same ears, different music. Same heart, different feeling. Only constants are the relief of change and the power of positive perception.
On my next walk, will normalcy return or more difference and indifference? On my next walk, will there be signs of caring or more detachment and coldness?
I love my city. It gave me a home when no one did. It gave me freedom when I felt trapped, imprisoned, silently screaming. It gave me adventure when others taught my dreams were impossible and won’t take flight anywhere.
So I promise to stay and give back to this city. I promise that my community will see and experience something good, humane, prosperous, happy.
I can’t control how others think and act but I can control my thoughts and actions. Maybe it’s enough, maybe it’s not. Regardless if change happens, I will try harder to change because my city and it’s people are worth changing, fighting, surviving, caring, sacrificing.
I will not make excuses. I will not turn the other way. I will be more because being better didn’t work.
“It’s okay to feel and be vulnerable. It’s okay to not feel sometimes so it does not hurt as much. It’s not okay however to not care at all when we’ve seen people’s suffering. Caring is having a soul that connect us with the divine.”
Those pictures are looking like a lot of towns and cities and then maybe not, the ones that are reckless or as you so nicely put it believing something false because it’s comfortable. But you’re right we can’t help people who don’t want to help themselves all we can do is control our own actions and thoughts, stand up for those who can’t, and ask for grace during hard times. Hope you’re doing well my friend
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Thank for sharing kindness. I’m surviving. Things are better but not quiet, something most are experiencing as well. The events of last year and now did affect me physically, emotionally, mentally, even spiritually. People look and see only the smile not seeing what the eyes are really telling. People ask if we are okay not really intending to make our lives okay when they have the power to make a difference and make lives better for those around them. Living and appreciating the moment has been my new normal. It makes more sense than dream of a distant future. It will be an interesting walk again next year in our cities and communities. Take care.
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Haunting pictures. Thank you for sharing.
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The weekend was an emotional roller coaster. The Racial Hate Killings has really hit deep into the hearts of many people like it happened to themselves or someone they love. Today, it was the topic at work, and yes, we are mostly Asians and Pacific Islanders in the Health Field. Everyone is scared and at the same time angry. I have a feeling this will grow bigger as in the next few weeks. The outcry for justice and discrimination has just began, same as what happened last year. Inhuman and criminal acts should never be tolerated and allowed to exist yet in the U.S. it thrives from Floyd’s murder , to the Capitol Attack and now shooting women because it’s someone’s dream sexual fantasy. It’s sickening. Police also need to stop saying things that undervalues the victims and the sentiments of the community it is targeting. We know hate when we see it. Thanks for the feedback.
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I think you have vented for us both. It is exactly how I feel. So, so unfortunate.
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The blogging community has been truer & kinder, very supportive than our own local & national continuities when it comes to real life problems and challenges. It helped me cope with life, the pandemic, Racism and discrimination for the past year. It’s like being in a safe group counseling session, thus I gave up all forms of social media & focused on the best that is most useful, word press blog.
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I am so happy you feel this way and I can attest to that. Be safe!
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Thanks
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Those are quite haunting and lonely images. My family has stayed away from the city core and when we’re allowed to, we’ve only ventured out to more rural and nature areas where people are very spread out. When I do my groceries, it’s hard not to notice the closed stores and restaurants and a lot of these stores, especially the small businesses, are not going to survive the pandemic. Very sad. Further reminder how blessed we are given the larger circumstances! Stay well and take care.
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Thanks Ab. Yes, seeing the loss around us makes us appreciate of our blessings. Contrary to the news and leaders optimism, things will not go back to normal for awhile for the struggling poor, middle income and small business owners. The rich got richer last year by investing stimulus money on stocks in just a few months. Even stimulus money is not shared equally.
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The pandemic has really exposed the inequities and the increased challenges that vulnerable groups are facing for sure. I’m glad the stimulus package was finally approved even though as you noted the distribution is not entirely equal!
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Glad it went through too. Can’t imagine what the unemployed are going though especially with kids who haven’t received help for months because even the stimulus politicians have to fight first because self interest is more important that a person’s life and dignity. Life here is like being in a reality TV, many will do anything to outshine the other. Nobody wants to be the loser but their actions already makes them a humongous loser. They don’t see it but everyone and the world already does.
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It was very painful and frankly horrifying to watch the political showmanship and bickering as an outsider. Glad things seem to be taking a turn for the better (of least better than the former President)!
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I’m glad Biden won but the frustrating horror show has not ended. Trump now has a platform and what he did and his supporters with Racial and Political Division is creating so much chaos and violence in America 2021. It’s a never ending selfish hate drama and most of us are just casualties whose lives don’t matter as long as their interest thrives. The attack on the Capitol are now in our neighborhood streets. AAPI communities are no longer scared of the virus threat to their lives but from their fellow Americans, neighbors at that. I know it well because me, my family and friends are experiencing it now. Our work place don’t feel safe, nowhere feel safe. Domestics terrorism is the new normal. Makes us think really hard where to spend our retirement days. Minorities 65 and above are NOT safe nor accepted in the U.S. I don’t want me or my wife to be in those videos 15 years from now. Maybe move to Canada? Or just go back where my childhood dreams began. I may be poor then but I was totally safe. Take care Ab. Thanks for the generous feedback always.
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Trump spent four years – and the years before his presidency – sowing seeds of hate in your country. It is not going to go away overnight.
But I hope that with the new leadership things will slowly turn around over time. It is very hard to see what’s happening right now to minorities in the US. I can totally understand and empathize with the horror and disillusionment you feel.
Canada is always a great place! Vancouver might be a place you’ll enjoy. It’s similar in environment and climate as SF!
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Thanks Ab. Before all this Racism Hate, we were thinking of Florida between beaches and amusement parks or Europe, but now, it’s probably about being safest first bring who we are, so that means Philippines, which not only is blessed with awesome beaches worn warm waters but being who I am will never be a problem. Thanks & Happy Easter. Regards.
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Retiring in Philippines would be great!!!
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Yes, I was thinking El Nido or Coron. Paradise everyday.
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Oh my goodness, that would be true paradise indeed! Palawan is on my wish list to visit one day.
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Yes. Paradise dream vacation indeed.
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“Some would rather believe a false truth because it’s comfortable than have an annoying worrisome conscience.” = the problem.
“Caring for others with God’s heart.” = the solution.
Yours are heartfelt words, brother. Thank you, and God Bless.
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Thanks David. My wife asked me last weekend why I sounded angry after going deeper into the shooting in Atlanta because of Racial Hate and Fetish, I guess it simply bring to surface what I see and experience myself as an Asian Heathcare Worker in America for the past 18 years. Victims don’t forget, we just learned to stay quiet & live with it, but now is that time to speak up and take action because if we don’t, we will find ourselves face down on the pavement or worse one day because people think they can. God works through people and I’m sure he wants Justice, kindness, love equally for all.
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Well said. The pandemic has really changed our thinking and the way we see a lot of things these days. Some for the better, some for the worse. But we try to stay positive and hope things will get better.
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True. Thanks 🙏
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What a great blog! These are very strange times we live in.
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Strange, crazy, uncertain, scary, sometimes there’s not even a word for it depending on the severity of the events we witness. Thanks. Stay safe.
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Yes and you.
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We face a lot to recover from, and it will take time. Still, I’m expecting everyone will want to get out and about and be together at last.
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Thanks for the feedback. Here in my city, people are already out and about. Some still with masks but I’ve seen people actively coughing sick in public which means infection is being spread now like it’s normal. It’s not. Stay safe my friend.
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Thank you! I am grateful to have now received my second shot, but I promise to take precautions to spare others.
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Congratulations. I hope everyone gets vaccinated soon. There are several strains in the U.S. now, best to wait 2-3 months before deciding if wearing mask is still needed.
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Uneasy times! Isn’t that an understatement? 🙂 🙂
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Yes. For the first time, I had to think twice walking alone in not busy streets.
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Eye and heart opening walk through your different city…
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I really thought it got better until that day. Not everything in the news are true. Best news are seeing truth with our own eyes. Thanks
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